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The further I get into my thirties, the louder these reminders become. As to be expected, after years of us all being in the dating trenches, some begin to couple up and things get serious. Nights out as a friend group become less frequent, as other commitments begin to take up those valuable weekend slots. Wedding invitations increasingly begin to roll in (often paired with a contingent plus-one ‘if you meet someone in time’), and people begin to move away from the city you used to run around wildly together to start afresh. It’s beautiful, and it’s how life works. But it’s also the subtle closing of a chapter that we don’t often acknowledge.
Watching my friends fall in love is the most special experience. And while I’m first in line to help to plan their weddings and smoosh their gorgeous babies to my chest as if they were my own, from time to time I can’t help but – however selfish this may be – look fondly back on a time when we belonged only to each other. Watching Why Am I So Single? reminded me of when we’d lie on our designated ends of the sofa and order waffles on a whim at 10pm on a Thursday; of Friday nights spent singing our hearts out on pub dancefloors until the lights came on and Saturday mornings in the kitchen, with one of us scrambling eggs while another poured the coffee. These moments still happen, every now and again, but not as often. And I likely mull this over more than they do, because my life hasn’t taken the same direction as theirs yet.
That’s the thing about single friendships: they’re transient by nature. They have to be. They can’t last forever, because not everyone remains single forever. Eventually, hopefully, we will all meet someone (if that’s what we’re looking for), and our friendships will evolve and grow and adapt with us. My friendships now are proof of that. Most of my close friends are in long-term relationships, and while the frequency and circumstances in which we see one another might have changed, the love we share – rooted in genuine connection, total acceptance and years of figuring life out together – will always remain. They’re still the people I turn to, without fail, and having friends who have been through the dating cycle and actually managed to meet someone is a helpful reminder that it can happen, and their advice is often invaluable.
My single friendships have built the foundations for my greatest relationships: the platonic loves of my life; some of whom are still single, and others who aren’t. What watching this musical has taught me is to cherish every moment of my single friendships during their lifespan, and to be extra grateful when new ones begin to form, bringing with them a host of new experiences.
What Why Am I So Single? so deftly portrays is the camaraderie of singledom. Those moments when you’re feeling particularly bruised and bitter and tired of the like-match-chat-date-ghost cycle, and you need the empathy of those who are in the trenches with you. Watching the two best friends onstage was a beautiful reminder of what a unique, bonding experience it is to go through that stage of life, and a reminder just how fun being single can be – especially when you’re in it together. It’s something we don’t often see portrayed in the media; the antithesis of being single meaning you’re ‘less than’, or ‘without’ a missing piece.
