Life today can be hard – from the pressures of being always online and facing the same sort of struggles women have faced for centuries.
So much advice out there seems to focus on how to be a mental health ally to others, but what about looking after yourself?
It’s not unusual to struggle with low self-esteem – from body image issues to work politics, doubt can eventually seep in and damage one’s sense of self. But there are always ways to boost your self-esteem and some are actually pretty easy to practice.
Methods to boost your self-esteem overnight
Make a plan for the day or week ahead
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Something that can weigh heavy on our minds and bring us down is thinking that we’re facing an impossible task. If you have 100 things to do, rather than let that spiral and feel unachievable, make lists so you get through them all in more manageable chunks. Suddenly, that mountain of chores will get much, much smaller and you’ll realise you can do more than you think.
Celebrate your wins
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They may be big or small, but when you have a win, make time to celebrate it. Treat yourself to something you’ve always wanted. Give yourself a spa day or a night of self-care. Invite your friends round to celebrate over a good meal and a bottle of wine.
Make time to learn
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Whether it’s cutting aside a few hours a week to grow your skillset in something related to your job, or you’ve just always wanted to learn a language or another skill, when you let yourself learn something new, you’ll feel the rush of an accomplishment. It could also give you the confidence to speak up more – which could introduce you to new people or opportunities. Win-win.
Keep a gratitude journal
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From writing in a diary each night to just listing a few things on your phone, taking the time at the end of each day to write down some things you’re thankful for will leave you feeling grateful and confident. Having everything you’ve achieved that day, or everything that’s made you smile, written down will mean you can also revisit it in the future.
Dress for the occasion
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As Oscar Wilde said, you can never be overdressed or overeducated.
Your clothes should make you feel better about yourself and are part of how the world perceives you. Outdated clothes that no longer fit properly or you feel negative about will change how you approach the day.
Some tips include building a capsule wardrobe of timeless but flattering outfits so you can always get dressed without stress but feel chic and empowered.
Take time to really know yourself
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Seasons change, and so do people. It’s very possible that things that used to bring you joy, might not do the trick anymore. For example, you might have enjoyed being out all the time when you were younger. But is this now tiring you out and you feel like you’re doing it simply because that’s what you’ve always done? Make regular time to sit with yourself and think about what would make you happy, what brings value to your life, and what helps you face the world with confidence.
Eat right
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One of the UK’s leading mental health charities, Mind, understands that food and mood have a very strong relationship.
If you’re not eating enough, or you’re not eating well, this will have an impact on your mood and your physical health. Foods that can lift your mood include affordable, everyday snacks like bananas, oats and salmon, so add them to your daily diet.
Seek feedback
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Whether it’s professional feedback or you ask friends and trusted ones for honest comments, sometimes other people can point out something you’re not seeing yourself.
Find the power in ‘no’
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Have you found yourself exhausting yourself doing things that don’t add value to your life? Setting boundaries – both professionally and personally – can rebalance the power in your relationships and give you time to really work on the things that help you be the best version of yourself.
Talk to professionals
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Getting the advice of a professional doesn’t always have to be a major commitment or a daunting thing.
From local talking therapies to walking groups and career counselling, there are a number of people who can help you address the biggest blockers in your life.
Make eye contact
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Make a conscious effort to look people in the eye whenever you’re speaking, be it in a professional or a personal setting. It shows assertiveness, confidence and active engagement. You’ll notice that the more you do this, the more people will respond to you, boosting your self-esteem and making you feel seen and heard.
Make time for exercise
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There are many reasons why introducing regular exercise into your routine will boost your confidence almost overnight. The first is purely scientific. Exercise releases endorphins, a ‘feel-good hormone’. Not only that – while beauty and confidence come in all shapes and sizes, you might feel better in yourself if your clothes start fitting better or you feel better in your physical appearance.
Whether you introduce some beginner cardio exercises or at-home strength training, take some time out to add it to your routine.
Practice speaking slowly and clearly
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It’s such a simple and often overlooked thing, but how you speak can have a big difference in how others perceive you – and, in turn, how you start to feel about yourself. Speak with clarity and confidence and people will actively listen to you, boosting your self-esteem and sense of purpose.
Mumbling or being too shy will have you scared to speak out more in the future, leaving you with lots of unspoken thoughts that can weigh heavy on your mind.
Meditate
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Meditation and mindfulness have many benefits. From giving you time for self-awareness, skills to quiet negative or overwhelming thoughts, combat stress, and other cognitive benefits, you’ll feel better equipped to move through life with assurance and confidence.
Sleep well
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Sleep deprivation is regarded as one of the biggest silent killers. Lack of sleep can affect your immune system, your stress levels and your sex drive – and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Learning how to sleep better can help you avoid many of these side effects that will inevitably impact your self-esteem.
Challenge negative thinking
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This one is easier said than done, but slowly introduce a counterargument to those negative voices that creep into your mind. It doesn’t need to be anything too corny or over-the-top, just make time to acknowledge when those doubts creep in and address them. Do you think you said something stupid at work? Counter that and put it into perspective.
Address any problems before they get worse
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Many of us are guilty of overthinking. From worrying about something you said to reading too deeply into a message from a friend and wondering if they’re mad at you, you can obsess and spiral. A good behaviour to adopt is simply going to the source. Ask them directly. Chances are, they’re also overthinking about the situation and they’ll be thankful to clear the air.
Go outside
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From the scientifically proven benefits of getting vitamin D from the sunshine to just giving you a chance to breathe and reboot, getting outside is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Nature can help ease anxiety and give you a chance to work through your thoughts, and getting natural light throughout the day can also help you sleep better.
Learn to accept compliments
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We feel almost programmed to reject compliments. That’s something that should stop. If you want to start feeling more self-confident, accept and appreciate the compliments you receive.
When someone offers you a compliment, look them in the eye and thank them. You can also let them know how that compliment has made you feel – as this gives the other person a good feeling.
Declutter and clean your space
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From home offices to bedrooms, take some time to declutter – it’s remarkable how physical mess can soon mess up the mind. It weighs on you as something you know you need to do, but haven’t got around to doing.
Once your work or home spaces are clean and clear, you’ll feel more at ease and, in turn, confident.
Clean up your media
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Everyone knows the importance of keeping physical spaces tidy and organised, but we should also be regularly ‘cleaning’ up the media we’re consuming. Think about it. If you’re waking up every morning and immediately checking social media or news which can make you feel negatively, you’re going to internalise this and take it with you for the rest of the day.
Be kind to others
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There are some who prescribe to the idea that we attract what we give out. If you approach situations with kindness and positivity, you might find yourself receiving the same in return. Try to give compliments when someone does something well, or you feel thankful for a gesture of kindness.
Invest in a lucky or go-to power outfit
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On those days you really need an extra boost, have a power outfit. This can be an expensive outfit which makes you feel your very best, or something in a loud and proud print, like leopard print. When you have your lucky or powerful outfit, you’ll feel untouchable.
Visualise
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While some can scoff at the idea of manifestation, others swear by it. And if it can work, why not try?
If you’ve been struggling with your self-esteem or having doubts creeping in, try clearly visualising what you want. Be it a successful promotion at work, manifesting the confidence to address something you need to, or just picturing yourself achieving your goals, the more you think of something being a reality, the easier it is to believe you can achieve it.
Fix your posture
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A very superficial point, but one that’s been proven to directly impact how people perceive you – one’s posture can make all the difference. Walk tall. Shake people’s hands. Act as if you deserve to be there and people will treat you accordingly. If you sit low and look awkward, you’ll likely make others feel the same and this can lead to unnecessarily stressful situations.
Limit social media
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Comparison is the thief of joy. Social media is great for connecting us, but it can also warp our perceptions. Remember that what’s good for someone else might not be right for you – and don’t let other people’s lives make you doubt your own.
Smile more
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Women being told to smile more? Irritating when it’s from certain people. However, when it’s up to you, you should try to boost your mood by smiling often. Smiling can increase mood-enhancing hormones and decrease stress-enhancing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. It can also trigger the brain to produce endorphins, which are chemicals that relieve pain and stress.
If you can, volunteer
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Even if it’s just once a month or once every couple of months, when you make time to volunteer, you make connections with others and you can gain some perspective on your own life. You can volunteer with local schools and charities, spend with elderly people, get out in local gardens, or even just agree to make a few phone calls to vulnerable people from the comfort of your own home. It all makes a difference.
Find someone to look up to
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Inspirational women can come from all walks of life – whether it’s a celebrity or a real-life mentor, having someone who has ideals, values and traits you aspire to emulate can be a helpful touchstone in developing your own self-esteem.
Step outside of your comfort zone
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If you only hang out with the same people or do the same things all the time, you can get into a rut. Self-doubt can stop you from doing the sort of things that can improve your confidence – whether it’s trying out a new class, signing up for a dating app or taking a solo trip.
Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t even need to be something big or wild, it can be as simple as taking yourself out to the cinemas alone if that’s always been something you’ve been afraid to do, or saying hello to a new person at work.
Make – and stick to – a routine
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If you don’t have a sense of routine in your life, you might be causing yourself unnecessary stress and making easily avoidable mistakes. Even things like not making time for exercise or your skincare could be affecting your self-esteem as you might not feel like you look your best.
From doing laundry on certain days to having a proper sleep routine, a routine will limit the likelihood of nasty surprises, and you’ll always have what you need to put your best foot forward.
And routines don’t have to all be about checklists and chores – having a set time when you down tools and have a cup of tea, or run the bath, will keep your days to a healthy rhythm.
Keep a list of your compliments and achievements
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We’re not advising writing down every little thing someone says in passing, but if someone shares something with you that really makes your day, make a note of it. If someone sends you a thank you card or a lovely note of congratulations, keep hold of it.
Everyone will have tough days, but these will remind you that the bad times don’t last – and that your achievements and your actions have meant something to others.
