I knew the numbers were going up, but when I read that the amount of women choosing to have babies alone through IVF has tripled over the last decade, I was beside myself with joy.
Not only did it validate my own decision to start a family via IVF as a single parent, I also felt huge relief on behalf of my now eight-month-old daughter. Like all parents, I have so many fears and worries, but the thought of her having to navigate other people’s opinions of her “different” family in the future is one that occasionally kept me awake at night. So, to know that she is now part of an ever-growing group of children with an unusual but not so uncommon origin story makes me so happy.
I first considered solo parenthood way back in 2015 after a break up, but I was put off by the search for the donor dad sperm. There seemed to be so many options, and to be honest, looking back now I see that I didn’t really know what or who I was looking for. Plus, I was 33 at the time, and didn’t feel it was a decision I needed to make right there and then.
Fast forward to 2021. A combination of Covid and its impact on my social life, learning more about the IVF process through a friend who was on her own journey with her partner, and being on the cusp of turning 40 led me to reconsider my decision.
I decided to have another look at the donor sites, and this time around, I didn’t find it so overwhelming. I was looking at potential future baby daddies and it felt exciting, not daunting. That same day, I booked in for a fertility test, and celebrated my decision with margaritas with a dear pal. Although the test showed there were no obvious issues with my fertility, I was advised to get started as soon as possible due to my age, and by November of that year, I had started fertility treatment.
Financially, the choice to do IVF alone wasn’t easy. I had to do a massive lifestyle shift in order to budget for the treatment, on top of putting money aside to cover me should I be lucky enough to find myself on maternity leave, and beyond that, to pay for childcare when I ultimately returned to work. Beyond the practical aspects, trying to conceive through IVF was gruelling, both emotionally and physically, and definitely not quick, but by August 2023, after multiple procedures, I was pregnant.
