Walking Home From Dinner On A Chilly Evening, Or, Saturday Morning at 10:48am

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, if you celebrated. Ours was very quiet and I wore soft clothes.

But hard shoes. Feels like a metaphor I can’t quite get.

My kids were with their partners’ families, so my husband and I took the opportunity to celebrate just the two of us. We walked to a local steakhouse that was feeding people turkey as well as beef. The leaves had fallen. I would have had more style with a scarf, but I didn’t want to futz with it at the restaurant because I’ve left enough beautiful swaths of silk and cashmere behind over the years.

My shirt’s under there, I promise. No plan to shock the crowd.

And here’s something I said in an online discussion:

Walked home from Thanksgiving dinner at a steakhouse, cries of “Andalé, Andalé!” rising from a public soccer field across the way. The night was dark, the air chilly. and I thanked my every step that I live here and wish I knew how to share it with our whole country.

That’s how I’m feeling now, about America and where we find ourselves. I wish I knew how to convince those who are scared and finding comfort in anger, that people in coastal California (and other places with a similar political and ethical structure), are wonderful. That we too bury our feet in leaves and wish our kids would come home for the holidays, but, we are happy when people wearing shorts on a cold American holiday night yell encouragement in a foreign language.

However, it is possible that towns like mine are one thing driving this hatred of immigrants and intent to shove women into old roles. These days it’s almost impossible to buy a house here. I understand the resentment.

But I can do something about housing prices. Something tiny, maybe, but not nothing. In brief, California has instituted a state requirement that towns build more housing, for multiple income levels. As you can imagine, towns resist. So I’m supporting new development of multi-family dwellings, particularly near our train system. Two birds in one; climate change and housing affordability. Something.

The election was, in my emotional reality, a terrible thing. So much work to be done, from immediate succor for those at risk–people needing reproductive care in some states, immigrants, the list is long–to gearing up for and donating to support legal and procedural fights, to participating in new networks of information to combat lies that foment hatred. To say nothing of kicking off he upcoming election cycle.

We don’t yet know how terrible this will be, nor in what ways, precisely. But I believe those of us not at immediate risk, those of us with resources, can pick something, anything, to do. We can get going.

So this isn’t a post about being thankful, per se, or gratitude. I’ve known I’m fortunate since I was old enough to notice how my family lived, to separate our circumstances from the sheer fact of having parents and siblings and eating food at a long wooden table. Now, I may be glad that my family and I don’t live in as much risk as many, but that feeling is brief.

Mostly I feel resolved. Resolved to do whatever I can. What exactly? Not even sure. To what end? Can’t say, precisely, but with a swelling hope that more in this country can feel happy on a cold night.

Have a good weekend, everyone. I continue to recommend soft pants.

Edited to add, after some thought.

1. If you can’t do anything, please feel no guilt or shame. This has to be a movement and a community that’s primarily supportive of people’s needs. I am the last one to exhort you beyond your capacity.
2. A short list of links so you can visit organizations/leaders with idea of what to do, if you’re so inclined
   1. The ACLU, for donations to the legal fight
   2. You’ll know what your local issues and organizations are. If you’re interested in increasing the housing stock, YIMBY is a good term to Google
   3. From most centrist to more traditionally leftist:
      1. Amy Siskind on Facebook
      2. Swing Left for grass roots campaign volunteering
      3. New Power Project to support emergent candidates of color
      4. Indivisible, an umbrella organization for local progressive groups

Any other resource you’ve found useful, welcomed.