So you’ve cast your ballot and your civic duty is done. (Or, at least, one part of your civic duty is done.) Do you then go home, turn on cable news, and spend all night listening to the same pundits drone on and on about this swing state and that demographic? You could. We certainly wouldn’t blame you. But if you’d rather distract yourself with something else entirely, here are a few suggestions for what to watch instead of election returns.
If you’d rather think about a fantasy government…
…you could watch Netflix’s The Diplomat, which recently debuted its fun, twisty, just-silly-enough second season. Sure there are some grim parallels to our real dreadful rat’s nest of global policy, but creator Debora Cahn mostly keeps things light and bouncy. The stakes may feel high for Kate Wyler (Keri Russell), US Ambassador to the United Kingdom, but from the audience’s perspective, her life is pleasantly soapy. With sharp performances and writing, The Diplomat goes down easy. It’s eminently bingeable, so all you have to do as our republic maybe crumbles outside is occasionally press the “yes I’m still watching” button every few hours.
If you want an entirely different kind of conflict…
…head on over to Bravo, which is airing various Real Housewives franchises pretty much all day on Tuesday. There’s a new episode of New York City premiering at 9:00PM ET, followed by reruns of recent Beverly Hills and Salt Lake City episodes. What better way to forget the troubles of the world than to watch a bunch of lunatics invent their own dumb problems? It may be a little depressing, but at least all their bickering and destruction ultimately means nothing. The new NYC episode is called “A Shot of Mess-Cal,” so you know that’s gonna be a disaster in the way only Housewives can do a disaster. What a comforting vision it could be: a rare picture of sinister rich people who are, all things considered, relatively harmless.
If you’re considering leaving the country…
…get a taste of life in France with the Criterion Channel’s Catherine Breillat retrospective. Seven of the daring, unflinching director’s films are highlighted on the streaming service this month, searing and often unsettling looks at sex and the perils of interpersonal connection. Maybe they’re not the best advertisement for immigrating to our old American Revolution ally, but at least you’ll gain an appreciation for Breillat, a filmmaker who is somewhat under the radar in the US but whose oeuvre is well worth exploring. If you’re into what you see on Criterion, you could also seek out Breillat’s most recent film, Last Summer, the kind of movie that you see and think, Wow, they would never make this in America. Though we sure do make plenty of upsetting stuff of our own.
If Daily Show clips just aren’t cutting it, YouTube-wise…
…go check out Jenny Nicholson’s wonderful commentary channel. Nicholson is the creator behind this summer’s viral deep dive into the failure of Disney World’s Star Wars hotel. It’s a long, thorough, humane piece of criticism, and is a good example of the rest of Nicholson’s (sadly infrequent) output. Her videos on the Dear Evan Hansen movie, the endlessly tangled mythology of The Vampire Diaries, and a failed theme park are all terrific. Plus, they’re really long! Before you know it, Wednesday will have arrived, bringing with it the sweet satisfaction of knowing who our next president is. Or not.
If you simply cannot sit on the couch…
…there are these wonderful places called movie theaters, where a variety of interesting fare is currently playing. If you’re lucky enough to be near one of the only 50 American movie theaters showing Clint Eastwood’s new (and maybe last?) film, Juror No. 2, it’s a satisfying and complicated moral drama with a great premise: a jury member realizes he actually committed the crime the defendant stands accused of. If Eastwood isn’t to your liking, you could weep at the elegant romance of We Live in Time, featuring a knockout performance from Florence Pugh. Netflix’s Emilia Perez is playing in a few theaters, if you like strange, sweeping musicals. Or you could go to the re-release of Godzilla Minus One, a film about what Japan does to stop a terrifying monster who just won’t stay gone.
If you’ve had it for the day…
…maybe just watch the back of your eyelids? Nothing wrong with going to sleep at 6PM, if you don’t have work or kids or whatever. Lately I’ve enjoyed falling asleep to old episodes of Barefoot Contessa on Max. Scroll to some random season, pick any episode, and drift off as the soothing tones of Ina Garten transport you to a dreamland where the food is nice, the friendly gay guys are wearing comfy sweaters, and a sweet old man who likes chicken skitters around in the background. Sure, in reality that sweet old man is a rapacious capitalist just like the rest of the ghouls running this country—but in the glorious vacuum of Barefoot Contessa, he’s just an amiable helpmeet to the great hostess of our nation.
